What Do I Do?

[Gabriel]

Guys I was really need your advice as to handle a situation that im currently going through and didnt exactly know how I should go about it. I just got employed at a new job working as a Sorenson interpreter. The job that I have always wanted. the pay is good and the bennifits are even better. However there is a Elder , his wife, and a sister who also works there as well. They are aware that im d'fed, But the job that we have requires us to wrok together...sometimes side by side. The elder and his wife hasnt said anything to me since I began my employment there at the company. The sister said a few things to me...you know...showing me how things are done there at the office...really nice to me, but I guess the elder must have told her my status within the org. and so now she keeps me at a distance. I totally respect that they dont want to talk with me and I really dont expect them to....well...yes I do.

Its not like I want to descuss the bible or want them to go over the latest watchtower article. But I guess on some level I was hoping that we would at the very least be able to have some kind of a professional relationship especially since we are required to work and depend on eachother....like I said sometimes shoulder to shoulder literally. Well last night while I was at work he had the responsibility to go around and collect paper work from everyones station. When he came to my station I guess it took him a little longer to collect my paper work and the awkwardness of the silence got to him so he said something to avoid the uncomfortableness of the situation. And see thats the thing. I know it has to be just as awkward for him as it is for me so I dont understand why he's choosing to keep me at arms lenght.

Im not going to lie. It hurts. Like I said I dont expect him to talk to me about the bible or anything but cant we just be professional? Sooner or later....probably sooner, we're going to have to work at the same station. I cant imagine how awkward thats going to be especially seeing the awkwardness of it now. I thought about saying a word or two of kindness to him but im scared to put myself in a situation that has the potential to back fire on me. Last night when I got off work I prayed to Jehovah about it and I aknowledged to him that I put myself in this situation by the bad choices I made, and this brother is trying to demonstrate to him (Jehovah) that he has unswerving loyalty and doesnt want to do anything that may be a lack of integrety. But I ask him if he could just make a way that would make this brother feel a little more comfortable around me and yet help him feel that he's not breaking his integrety. any advice you guys have would be much appreciated.?

[Shibboleth]

I would discuss it with him. I would ask him if he treats worldly people better then you and if he does, why. i would make it plain to him that in order to have a working relationship you need to work together and that you do not mean to make things awkward, be he should just treat you as a co-worker. It is not like you are going on break with them and associating with them. Work and association are 2 different things. They can still maintain a work relationship and still uphold their faith. Just let him know that you are there for work and not there to associate. Also they may feel it's hard for them, but do not realize that it is also hard for you.

i don't really have any other good advice on this. I would feel that the elder and others that work there would be mature enough to handle the situation.

regards,

Shibboleth

[Reader]

Personally, I would steer away from saying anything about the difference between a 'worldly' person and yourself, because, frankly, they view you as worse than a person from the world, so their actions are justified.

I think the best way to approach this is to take them aside, one at a time, and expain to them the common ground that you already mentioned, that it is indeed awkward for each of you.

Then add that you don't want them to violate their bible-trained consciences, so you will refrain from unnecessary socializing, at lunches, breaks, etc, and that you have no intention of discussing spiritual things with them. But in the interest of providing the best service for your common employer, we do need to have a professional atmosphere. That means communicating when necessary, being polite, and not avoiding contact when contact is needed.

After that conversation, then take it very slowly. In time they will see that you are a person of your word, and they will change their attitude, hopefully.

I hope this helps.

Reader

[Kenneth]

...

[Gabriel]

I've just found an article in the 1963 Watchtower it appears to be the nearest one that fits your circumstances, there may be a more resent one though.


What if a disfellowshiped person and a member of the congregation both work at the same place of secular employment? Could they have association then, since their work may require them to have communication with one another? Here again, it is a matter of recognizing the changed status of the one who is disfellowshiped. While it is permissible to converse to the extent necessary for carrying out the functions of the work, it would not be proper to associate in the sense of communicating freely, without regard for his status. Only the necessary business would be discussed, never spiritual matters or any other matter that does not come under the category of necessary business related to the secular employment.[/b]



Kenneth
[/b]


Well...there you have it. I just think that its really sad when you see them tripping over themselves as they try and run away from you. When you just happen to be walking down the same hall that they are comming from and they turn and go another direction that they had no intention of going in the first place. I think that its sad when you just happen to be on the same elevator...going to the same floor and not one word is spoken. I dont know if that shows how spiritual a person is or how rude theY are. I just want a professional relationship that will help all involved to get the work done in the best way possable.

[Nambo]

What would Jesus do?, and do that.
You know where they are coming from LV so I wouldnt put them under any additional pressure, just let them get on with it as it is the way of serving God they have been told.
But you, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, and love your enemies, (well the principle of).

So let them be without any pressure from you whilst you give enough of a smile to show you would like to be friends but realise thier position and honour them for it.

Maybe they can see by your behaviour, or maybe other colleagues will tell them, or maybe they will see you offer a quiet prayer at dinner time and they will see you obviously arnt some sort of wicked fornicating murderer person and maybe after they have gone through the JW motions for a while, they will tire of it, realise you are not the monster the FDS tell them you are and then come around some-what.

[fruitage]

Guys I was really need your advice as to handle a situation that im currently going through and didnt exactly know how I should go about it. I just got employed at a new job working as a Sorenson interpreter. The job that I have always wanted. the pay is good and the bennifits are even better. However there is a Elder , his wife, and a sister who also works there as well. They are aware that im d'fed, But the job that we have requires us to wrok together...sometimes side by side. The elder and his wife hasnt said anything to me since I began my employment there at the company. The sister said a few things to me...you know...showing me how things are done there at the office...really nice to me, but I guess the elder must have told her my status within the org. and so now she keeps me at a distance. I totally respect that they dont want to talk with me and I really dont expect them to....well...yes I do.

Its not like I want to descuss the bible or want them to go over the latest watchtower article. But I guess on some level I was hoping that we would at the very least be able to have some kind of a professional relationship especially since we are required to work and depend on eachother....like I said sometimes shoulder to shoulder literally. Well last night while I was at work he had the responsibility to go around and collect paper work from everyones station. When he came to my station I guess it took him a little longer to collect my paper work and the awkwardness of the silence got to him so he said something to avoid the uncomfortableness of the situation. And see thats the thing. I know it has to be just as awkward for him as it is for me so I dont understand why he's choosing to keep me at arms lenght.

Im not going to lie. It hurts. Like I said I dont expect him to talk to me about the bible or anything but cant we just be professional? Sooner or later....probably sooner, we're going to have to work at the same station. I cant imagine how awkward thats going to be especially seeing the awkwardness of it now. I thought about saying a word or two of kindness to him but im scared to put myself in a situation that has the potential to back fire on me. Last night when I got off work I prayed to Jehovah about it and I aknowledged to him that I put myself in this situation by the bad choices I made, and this brother is trying to demonstrate to him (Jehovah) that he has unswerving loyalty and doesnt want to do anything that may be a lack of integrety. But I ask him if he could just make a way that would make this brother feel a little more comfortable around me and yet help him feel that he's not breaking his integrety. any advice you guys have would be much appreciated.?[/b]

Dear LV....I don't see how anyone could say anything anymore loving than the words you used to describe the situation...and this would be the best way to convey the matter...that its not your intent to put them in a compromising position..but for the sake of working together professionally it would be best to communicate on a business level...

I can see from your loving words...you will handle the sticky situation in the very best way....have confidence in yourself.

Take Care

[Olm]

well since i too have been in a situation at work somewhat similar to yours. make good friends with all the other people that work with you. this helps a lot, then you wont be alone. as for the ones who wont talk to you, just get some guts and talk to them or make a joke, although they would probably not laugh so maybe a joke would not be a good idea. but just talk to them either about their behavor or just about work. whatever makes you more comfortable the Problem they have with you or just Work stuff.

ps be brave and do not fear them!!!!!!